The Modern Singhs by Abbey Singh

Author:Abbey Singh
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2022-03-08T00:00:00+00:00

The last celebration at an Indian wedding is just one huge party. It was all going well and everyone was dancing and having a good time, but near the end of the night, a riot started, with furniture being thrown and people carted off by the police. Apparently this is very common at Indian weddings, but no one thought to tell me! It will probably always be unclear as to how it properly began, but we know that one of Money’s friends, who was pretty drunk by then, decided to bring a bottle of champagne onto the dance floor. Then he shook the bottle, intending to spray it everywhere – like some Formula 1 race – but not ideal at a wedding.

One of the security guards at the venue immediately came up to him. ‘Sorry, mate – there’s no alcohol allowed on the dance floor. Safety reasons.’

‘What are you going to do about it?’ the guy snarled.

‘I’m going to take that bottle away,’ said the security guard, and ripped it out of his hands.

Who knows why, but it all turned manic. Money’s friend threw a punch, the guard pushed back and suddenly everyone was pouring onto the dance floor throwing fists around. At my wedding. One of their friends, dressed in a black suit, was punched because someone thought he was another security guard, then that guy’s whole family came running in. Then Money’s aunties, uncles, cousins and friends joined in. It turned into a riot so fast. There were pregnant women in the middle of the fight, men throwing chairs over their heads, children running around yelling, babies crying. Money was in there somewhere as well.

Some genius from the venue turned off all the lights – and that just made it worse because no one stopped throwing chairs, they just couldn’t see where they were throwing them. I was screaming at people to calm down, but no one was listening. Or they would stop for a moment to assure me everything was okay, then the moment my back was turned they would start brawling again. My European relatives and friends were huddled at the back of the hall, wondering what the hell was going on. Obviously nobody had told them either that this was a very common way for a Punjabi wedding to end. And because they hadn’t seen what started the fight, it made the whole thing even more frightening.

I started bawling my eyes out. My beautiful wedding was being ruined. My sister and my mum were upset too, while others were finding it funny that we were crouched in a corner crying. Even the DJ came over at one point and assured me, ‘This happens at every wedding I do. At least this one is in New Zealand. If it were in India, there might have been a gun fired in the air by now. We are used to these escalating from one to 100 in record time.’

Money’s parents tried to take care of me. ‘You should get out of here,’ said Pam.

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